I was having a conversation with someone about a situation they were facing. During the course of the conversation they said to me “I will go ghost on them”. Ghost meaning to disappear and leave the friendship without communicating why. As soon as the person said those words I heard Holy Spirit say, “disappearing acts cut too!” I understood that He was saying cuts hurt and they require time to heal. Of course I shared this with the person I was speaking to.
See it is one thing to be in a relationship and bring to the awareness of the other person(s) involved concerns you are having. It is another to just disappear without communicating why. Then Holy Spirit gave me an example. It was that in this situation it would be no different than a man walking away from a relationship with a woman, and the only indication she has that something was wrong is the fact he is now gone. He never took the time to communicate with her his concerns or feelings about what was happening in the relationship. He just disappeared, and she is left hurt and without understanding.
This is not the same as being in a relationship / friendship and you have had conversations with the person(s) about the problem. Yet, they have made no attempt to change or address the issue. If you choose to walk away at least they will have a clue as to why. True, it may still hurt, but they will have understanding.
When I asked the Lord for a scripture reference for this article and subject He led me to Luke 6:31 | NKJV. It reads, And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise. It was just that simple. Put yourself in the shoes of the person on the other end. I remember a friend shared with me a toxic behavior I had that was causing an issue for her in our friendship. I would make plans with her and either never show up or cancel at the very last minute. It was not until she pointed it out that I realized I was doing it. Because I valued our friendship I changed my behavior. However, if she had never brought it up I am sure we would not be friends today. Not only that, it would have carried over into other relationships in my life today, and that would not be healthy.
Also, let me make this clear. Abusive relationships do not necessarily fall in this category, and should be examined on a case by case basis. If disappearing will save your life, go ghost on them! However, I do not condone abuse of any kind.
In conclusion, sometimes disappearing would be the easiest thing to do, but it may not be the right thing to do. In the situation my friend was having it could have affected many others. Perhaps those involved need someone to do for them what my friend did for me…bring it to their attention! Just as I advised my friend on the phone, I encourage you to do the same. Seek the Lord about when, where, and how. When is the right time for you bring it up. Where do you bring it up, because the environment can change the outcome. How, meaning ask for wisdom on how to bring it up and what to say. Contrary to popular belief, it matters both what you say and how you say it!
Blessings to you!
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